Fixing up friends

This isn't a bar post but it is a drunk post. Don't fix up a friend with a friend. It's horrible texts forever. If someone says they want a fuck buddy, it's a fucking trap. Literally. Don't do it. Trust me.

And then....

...sometimes the folks you meet at a bar are a nightmare. The kind of person that's is fun for awhile, then you realize they are a plain old alcoholic. Lose their credit card, lose their money, lose their job, lose their wife. Always tell the same stories. Always have a sob story. Touch you for a round every time they see you. Call you buddy or mate or pal while they take a cigarette from your new pack. That shit gets old. Shoot me if I or the Husband ever becomes that. Seriously. Consider this my "living will" statement of intent.

Accidental drunk

Sometimes you don't mean it, didn't try, ooops, You're drunk. Eating food helps to prevent this. The Wife forgets this bit sometimes. She doesn't like breakfast, it's too much work. Waking up near noon makes it lunch anyway, right? Suddenly the balance of food vs booze is an imbalance. That's right, lunch booze. Late dinner. Fuck. Drunk. Long story short, eat fuckers. Soup, noodles, taco, what the fuck ever. EAT.

American Abroad in Bars

People like to talk politics. Especially when drunk. Around the world drunk people everywhere have an opinion about American politics and are quite happy to annoy you with theirs. Even countries most Americans probably don't even know exist. And you are the asshole if you don't shut up and let them tell you. America, the world fucking watches you. All the goddamn time.

Everyday drunks

Sometimes you just go to your bar to play a game of pool, drink a cheap beer, shoot the shit with the local gossips, and get out of the house for an hour or so. It doesn't always have to be epic.

String Theory, M-Theory, theoretical physics.

My conversation in the pub last night. Yep. Awesome. Moar booze please!